Chapter 2 of this book is entitled Your Road to Emmaus. Last week after writing the blogpost below, I read this chapter, but I wasn't focused and I didn't really get anything out of it, so tonight, after talking to my mom about a situation with my town home, I figured I would read this chapter again.
For about the past year or so, I have adapted the attitude of not caring for anything. School, relationships, my room, my town home, anything. I felt like I was numb to anything and I knew I cared, but I never took the proactive step to do anything. This adapted attitude caused me to fail classes, have numerous fights with mostly my mother, neglect financial problems, get into situations that weren't needed, etc. It's been bad and I am realizing that, but I am stuck in this rut and I don't know how to get out.
Clearly, the answer of getting out of this rut is trusting God, but as easy as that sounds to a lot of people, it's hard for me.
In the beginning of the chapter, Angie writes that she always loved the idea of God but He didn't seem practical because she always put her full attention on to things that she could see and touch and she tried reading the bible but it seemed huge and foreign to me. Angie seems like me, or at least seemed like me and my current situation. Being at Liberty and partaking in prayer groups and convocation and campus church, I loved it, but I could see the love of Christ on so many of the students and staff, and I knew that I was missing that happiness, of trust, of fully relying on God for everything in life. I never did that, nor still don't...these students could read the bible and it would speak to them, and I would read the bible and just be confused...especially in the Old Testament.
But anyway...back to the chapter....
Angie even did the "bible pointing" to see if God would speak to her by just closing the bible and then opening and pointing, and I confess, I have done this numerous times, even at a bible study and sometimes it does work, but then sometimes, it just doesn't make sense.
I have always had a problem with letting God lead me in the right path, I have even felt like I have been ignoring Him. I have been making earthly decisions for myself, and not trusting His guidance along the way.
"I realized that God had created me to be in communication with Him. He wanted me to invite Him into corners of my life that seemed too small for Him to fit. I began to listen, and I invited Him to speak."
I am slowly learning to just go with my gut and listen to God, but it's not easy. As i'm writing this, i'm feeling a literal heartache because I know this is what He wants, He is pulling at my heartstrings right now as I am running back to Him, literally crying.
She references the story in the Bible entitled Road to Emmaus, about two civilians walking towards Jerusalem with their faces down and Jesus, comes up to them after He has risen from the tomb, but these civilians did not realize it was Him, until He was invited into His house for supper and He broke the bread and then they realized it was Jesus, but before they could say anything, He disappeared.
"...the name Emmaus means 'warm springs,' and that these springs were frequently used for healing purposes. So I began to picture two people walking toward "healing" instead of some random biblical location."After realizing that it was Jesus, the civilians ran to the town exclaiming "We have seen Him! He is risen!" He was their rescuer, the one that died for their sins, for your sins, for our sins, for MY sins.
Angie asks "Where are you on the road to Emmaus?" The road to healing in other words. In my opinion, I have a long road ahead of me to get to the way my God wants me to be, but I am on the road hypothetically driving 5 mph.
She puts a list of helpful hints:
- Walk slowly and deliberately with thoughts of Him on your mind. He will catch up.
- Listen when He speaks. You will want to be with Him longer. (He's only doing what's best for you, right?
- Invite Him to stay. He will accept.
- Acknowledge who He is when He reveals Himself to you. He is Jesus Christ, the son of God. He was crucified, and paid the full penalty for sin. He died on the cross and was resurrected on the third day. He is now in heaven. where all those who trust in Him will spend eternity with Him. If you've not truly acknowledged Him before, do so now. Confess your need for Him, your complete dependence upon His sacrifice to pay the penalty for your sins. Acknowledge your trust in Him to save and keep you.
- Allow yourself to be consumed with love for Him.
I need to remember these hints that she listed, especially the last one. As said in the previous post, I am always on a search for earthly love, but the only love I need to focus on right now is God's unconditional love for me.
I need to read the bible more and Angie writes, "I had to get past my speed reader tendencies and see Scripture for what it was...God's letter of love to us, His workmanship." I need to read His love letters to me and listen to Him through everyday life.
I feel like this post has become mostly quotes from the book, but alas, I have a long quote once more...
"Have you ever had an experience when you felt certain the Lord was speaking to you? Many people say they have not, so don't feel like you're in the minority if you haven't had such a moment. What I think is so interesting about this particular Bible story is that Christ's disciples didn't even recognize His voice until later, when He allowed them to do so. It was only then, in looking back, they they recognized what had happened. In my own life, I can think of times I felt a nudge to do something (or not!) only to later reflect on that time and realize that I should have listen to what was (I believe) the Lord speaking to me. Pray that you will become more sensitive to His voice and your everyday walk, and they you will recognize when He is asking you to do something."
I have felt like I have had these random nudges that I normally would not think about, so like Angie, I do believe that that was God speaking to me, but stupid me, ignored Him, in numerous situations of my life and now I'm here, trying to pick up the pieces of the broken pitcher to put back together.
This book is helping me so much, and in a way, I hope it's ministering to anyone who reads this blog.
I'll be reading more, and I'll write a blog later :) Thanks for reading!
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